If God chooses to allow this, I’m aware that one day my two precious little boys
will grow up and leave my home as men. They will walk out our door for the last time and enter their new world. In a really good book I’m reading “Raising a Modern Day Knight” Robert Lewis asks the appropriate question “what will they leave with?” I’m assuming they will drive off in a car and most likely have some possessions in that car, but what will be in them? Will they know what it means to be a man and will they be adequately equipped to live it out?
He defines a man as someone who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and lives for the greater reward. There is so much good stuff in this definition, but the one I am focusing on is “leads courageously.” I’m aware that courage isn’t possible apart from fear. Courage is the choice to do the right thing when we’re afraid. The dictionary says it this way “The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution.” Much of my life I’ve been tempted to believe that being courageous is living without fear, but that’s a huge misunderstanding.
This is so important to me because I’m coming to realize more and more clearly the kind of battles I face on a daily basis as a man. One of my huge battles is the barrage of fears and lies I face that essentially say “God will not come through for you here” or “this situation will be really hard and uncomfortable and you won’t be able to stand up under it.” I face these lies in so many ways on so many days. Once I begin to listen to these lies I am then tempted to fall for the next lie which says “You’re only chance to keep this from happening is to get in control and manipulate things. Since God isn’t going to come through for you here you’d better get things under control.”
Oh how these lies have impacted my life! Far too much for my life has been lived in the state of stress that a person feels when they are trying to control something they can’t. It’s the same stress a person feels who is betting on a sporting event. They are doing their best to “will” their team to victory, but it’s of no use. No amount of internal pressure will cause their team to do anything. Jesus said it this way “who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span?” The answer is “no one!”
So, not only have I lived too much of my life believing the lie that “God won’t come through for me.” But while I believe it I often make terrible decisions. I am so sad to say that countless times I have made dumb decisions under the delusion that I needed to be in control. As a matter of fact, I would go as far as to say that I don’t think I’ve ever made a godly wise decision while I was believing that “I need to be in control.”
I am so very thankful for the truth Jesus stated “the truth will set you free.” I need the truth to reign in my mind. I know the lies will continue to battle against me as long as I’m on this earth. I know I will even be afraid at times. I’m just praying that I can model at least one element of manhood (leading courageously) for my incredible little boys. I pray they will be able to say, “I grew up with a dad who courageously chose to believe the truth in the midst of a battle of lies.”
